He is currently struggling with his vices. When I ask him what gives him joy, it’s his vices he says. We dive into a deeper conversation and he comes to realize that the vices are just suppressing the pain from his emotions. It’s a difficult question for him to answer what gives him joy then. He remembers then that his daughter was his true joy who was taken away from him many years ago when his Ex left him. He does not have any paternity rights. The incident left him heartbroken. The memory of his daughter being scared of him the last day that they were together because his reaction to the news of his ex leaving hasn’t left him. That’s not how he would have wanted her to remember him. Normally the last day should have been spent making good memories. When I ask him about getting help for his vices, he says that one has to do it for themselves and nobody else and also that one has to be ready for it. He is not ready yet. I realized he was wise and a good soul despite his vices. As a physician in my earlier years of practicing I had a bias towards people who did drugs. I spoke to a nurse whom I immensely respected who mentioned to me that as a teen she was into drugs and then completely turned her life around. Somehow that day my biases started dissolving and I realized that they weren’t really bad people just caught up in circumstances of life and needed support, love and understanding. I hope we all can maybe give them a ear and a leaning hand when we come across their paths, so that maybe they can start their journeys towards hope and healing.
Break it down!!! To the smallest step you can think of!!!
You’ve been wanting to start that project but never get to it !!! Overwhelm/ procrastinate is all you do. You’re fearful of the outcome !!! You’re stuck and it’s killing you !!! How do you outwit your fear ??? You take really, reallllllly small steps towards the project !!! Such small steps that the part of the brain that triggers the fear doesn’t even get to know !!! Say you want to write a book ….your small step could just be going and sitting at the desk for 5 minutes where you want to write …and after that if you intuition guides you to do something else you do that ….you’re creating a momentum towards your project ….!!! Small steps is a big part of my creativity coaching and it’s how I get my things done !!!
It doesn’t matter when we start. It does matter that what we do!!!
I’ve had resistance towards painting as I felt like I couldn’t and was worried about not being able to. I used to paint a lot as a kid but somehow that has gotten lost. But I finally gathered up some courage and gave it a try. I made something crappy but was happy that I did. I had my moments of not liking what I painted but remember just moving the paint around. I’m trusting that in time with practice and experimentation I’ll get better. As long as I am enjoying the process it’s serving it’s purpose and that’s all that matters.
What have you been wanting to start but have been having resistance towards?
COVID STORIES-2
This is A. He worked for the underground utility department in Colorado which included checking the water supplies underground in the locality. Work didn't change much for him with the virus, which was good for him as he did not have to worry about money. He was worried immensely about his family, as he did not know when something would happen. He says it is like waiting for the other shoe to fall off. He is otherwise content and appreciates the everyday little things.
COVID STORIES-1
This is R. She lost employment during the pandemic. Sitting outside and eating is something she did often during those times, as she didn't have much to do. She mentions she would have rather worked. She struggled with depression due to unemployment and didn't know how she would make rent or maybe even support her kids who are growing boys.The pandemic did give her time to spend more quality time with her family, which she says was a good thing. Prior to COVID, life was just about going to work, cooking and taking care…
DO YOU SPEND A LOT OF ENERGY DECIDING ON WHAT PATH TO TAKE ???
Have you ever spent hours and hours of time trying to make a decision? I for sure have and I'm pretty much sure that most of us have. The fear of not knowing what may happen, the fear of not having made the right decision, the fear of failure, the fear of what if the decision that we did not take is the right and better decision keeps us in this state of limbo and chaos. Have you ever noted how your energy is when you are in this state of inaction ? For me, I am drained, drained of time and energy. I spend hours asking people what they would do, googling, etc. I forget to see that what may be right for others may not be for me. There are really no wrong decisions. Even after you did decide to go on a certain path, and after a bit realize that it wasn't for you, you can now work your way forward accordingly. There is nothing in the rules that says that you cannot change your decision once you have made it. Either ways you are still moving forward, whether you decided to stay on the path you took initially, or change to another one in the event that the one prior wasn't for you. I am not saying that you should take a decision without doing your groundwork, but give yourself a deadline and go with it.
I would love for you to share some of your experiences about the same.
KINDNESS GOES A LONGER WAY THAN ANGER !!!
This is Mike. He is retired from the Special Forces. He served in Afghanistan and was the bad guy per him. He was the one who was called upon to punish people. When I asked him if he believed in the war, he mentioned that he believed in his job. But kindness goes a longer way than anger, he says. He enjoyed helping the villagers in Afghanistan more than anything else. Since being retired he devotes his time to volunteering in the elementary school and the hospital. He remembers a time when a young girl at the elementary school came…
BEFORE YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR, YOU ALWAYS TELL EVERYONE INSIDE THAT YOU LOVE THEM !
Last year, I started coughing real bad. That’s what I do with asthma. I have been in and out of the hospital since, being placed on BIPAP (machine to help breath), multiple medications and steroids, but I havn’t really felt better. The doctors didn’t know what to do for me. They would give me the steroids and breathing treatments, but nothing would work. With all the steroids I had become so huge, that I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I felt like this sumo wrestler who had to depend on the nurses to even wipe myself, as I couldn’t reach my arm…
EVERY MOMENT IS A GIFT !
It was May 2016 when they found cancer cells in my esophagus. My doctor told me that I needed an esophagectomy, which involved removal of my food pipe. Initially, I was just kind of in shock and I didn’t know what questions to ask the doctor. Unless you go through something you really don’t know what to ask. But I have a very strong faith. I knew that no matter what happened, whether I made it or not, I was going to be ok and was at peace as I went into the surgery. After the surgery it was apparent that I wasn’t able to care for myself. But when you have been the caretaker all your life, it is very hard to ask for help. As time went on, it became easier for to me to ask for help and rely on others to assist with my care. I’ve learnt what’s important in life and what’s not and I no longer get upset with trivial things. I used to be a workaholic and even though I still have a very demanding schedule, I’ve put my priorities in the right order. I enjoy every moment because truly, every moment is a gift.
RETHINKING LIFE !
I was born with Retinitis Pigmentosa, a visual impairment. I started out with a pretty normal childhood. My parents noticed early on, that I couldn’t see very well and got me appropriate glasses. It wasn’t until high school that I started to think of my impairment as a disability. Due to my deteriorating vision I needed to be set up with this giant TV monitor on top of a camera looking thing. It was quite a cool thing. It could invert colors, zoom in and out and its what got me interested in geology, which I took up in college. I would zoom into…
Take What Comes !
I was lifting something at the fitness center when all of a sudden I had a very strange feeling. I can’t exactly describe it, but I knew that I had to get to the hospital. I literally ran out, jumped in my car and drove to the hospital. By the time I reached the ER my left arm was numb. It frightened me, but not as much. I remember thinking that if I loose my left arm, I would still have my right. I have always been one to say “ Take what comes”. I don’t remember much once I got to the ER other than that everybody started moving around very fast. I woke up only 5-6 days later. I remember the doctor telling my wife to call my children to get to the hospital quickly, as the odds didn’t seem good at all. I had an aortic dissection. They operated and saved my life. I had 2 surgeries after, to repair everything. One of those surgeries had gotten cancelled at 2 am the night before due to …
One Day at a Time !
You have to take one day at a time. My mother gave me this book “The Precious Present” when I was in high school because I worried about everything. Years later in 1995 when I was diagnosed with PSC (Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis), that book really came to light and that’s what I live by now. You live the moment. You don’t look at tomorrow, as what you think about tomorrow may never flourish. I was listed for a liver transplant. I got a chest x-ray before the scheduled surgery and they found metastatic colon cancer in my lungs. I had been eight years free of the cancer. I was taken off the transplant list because of the cancer. So there I was thinking about having the liver transplant and now had to deal with the cancer. That’s why you don’t worry about tomorrow as it may change. You take one day at a time. That’s what gives me strength.
I have also had an ileostomy (an opening in the belly for the poop to come out). It was awful when I first had it. My husbands grandmother had one and it used to just freak me out. I hoped to never have it, though now I do. I’m handling it better than I thought I would. You’re always concerned about it though, that it may leak. I have been in situations where it has leaked. I had to empty it in an airplane seat once. I couldn’t get into the bathroom as it was too small for me to adjust it. There was a young man sitting next to me. My sister explained to him what was going on. I put a blanket over my head and emptied it into the little bag they have in the airplanes that is used to vomit. I’m sure it smelt foul but you do what you got to do. The young man was fine with it. We were just laughing after. Humor is a big thing too and I do have a good amount of that.
A rational look at Life Again !
My story started as a resident when I was training to be a surgeon. I was having trouble physically and was diagnosed with lupus. By early 90’s I had a variety of problem. I was put on medical leave in 1992 after a short career in the medical field. In my world everything kind of stopped. I was very depressed. I tried a variety of things, but it just wasn’t quite the same. Eventually treatment kind of worked and I started to do little bits of things again. Then in 2002-2003 I was backed down by a car leading to multiple complications and 2 major …