Reflections from the Grand Canyon

My first look at the Canyon from above and I was like “I’m not sure why this is such a wonder”. I was disappointed. The next day I hiked into the Canyon and suddenly my impression about the canyon took a 180 degree turn. I felt like I became one with it. I cannot describe the feeling. I needed a closer and deeper look to somehow understand it. It’s the same with relationships. There are so many times that we disagree with other people and are upset because we think we are right and they are wrong. We want them to agree with our right. But we both could we right in our own way. It’s our experiences that shape our perceptions. So wouldn’t it be better if we tried to go deeper into their why and understand their perception. Maybe we might change our minds after or we may not. But even if we don’t, we will understand where they are coming from and have compassion for where they are coming from and won’t be upset with being right or wrong.

Joy Is Rare

“I was just thinking about joy this morning. Joy is rare! I’ve maybe felt true joy only 4-5 times in my lifetime. The last time I felt joy was when I was talking to my brother about childhood memories.”

M

This is M. The virus he says, it’s real. He thinks the virus was a lab experiment that somehow got out. He says it’s out here to wipe out the herd. And that it’s the most vulnerable people like those with diabetes/ metabolic syndrome who will suffer. When he says this, I think to myself what if we used this as a wake up call to better our health to better fight the virus by living better lifestyles and eating healthier. Just how we upgrade our antiviral softwares for our computers every year to fight the new software viruses out there, we can eat a more healthier diet to better our immune systems. Not only will it help us fight the virus but also fight those chronic diseases. M overall hasn’t been affected much by the virus. He is retired and continues to walk his dog everyday like just before

Joy Is Good Health !!!

“Joy is good health! I used to be unhealthy, eat out and drink a lot when younger and thought that was a good life, but now come here to for a workout everyday. It’s the best to workout by the beach, with the fresh air.”

Keith

This is Keith! Life hasn’t changed much for him with covid. He is retired and continues to spend life as is, other than wearing a mask in crowd. When I met him, he was taking a break in his chair outside his home, inbetween planting flowers. He says it’s prettier having flowers than just the pavement outside of home. His home is full of plants. He thinks of this virus as a bad flu and says that if I get it, I get it. I’ll deal with it then. He has always tried to live in the present and with a positive attitude. He already has spoken to his family as to what they need to do if he dies. He wants to be cremated and his ashes to be spread at Pikes Peak, given back to nature. His Mantra ‘Where u come from, back there u go.’ Keith has had some near death experiences and I wonder if that has what has taught him to experience life in the moment and be present to what is. It’s something that’s I am trying to learn but it’s difficult and I wonder if one has to go through some life changing experience for it to be easy enough.

Kari

This is Kari. She says that normal life is on hold right now due to COVID. She is very scared specially since she had diabetes as that puts her at risk of more complications if she catches the virus. This has caused so much fear in her that once this is over, she would like to go out into the countryside and live there growing her own vegetables, so that the risk from exposure through contact from others will be negligible. She enjoys sewing. She has been working from home and in her own time has been sewing masks which has been a creative outlet. She has been donating half of those masks which is her way of contributing to the society.

Adam

This is Adam. If it hadn’t been for Covid he says he would not have reconnected with his mother. He had a falling out with her some years ago and had been estranged from her since then. His mom was so scared that she was going to die during this pandemic (despite not being infected) that she reached out to him again and they have been connected since. He retrospect’s today, that if he could go back in time, he never would have parted ways with his mother before the way he had. He is happy and content today that they are talking again

Matt

This is Matt. He moved to the area about a year ago. His only good friend is his roommate who hasn’t had much time for him since being in a new relationship. So the Covid times have been lonely for him. But he thinks it’s been a good thing as he is realizing how much he depends on other people for his happiness. So he is deep diving into his internal self these days to figure out who he really is and what really makes him happy. He is on a journey towards personal growth and self discovery and glad about it.

Ruth

This is Ruth. With the pandemic she has lost her job. She worked at a casino. She worries about her finances. She says that unless you or someone close to you gets affected it doesn’t feel real. It’s like a dream to her. She is hence very complacent about the virus and chooses not to live in fear.

Grandma Sue

This is Grandma Sue. She works in a daycare center. She is a big hugger and friend to the kids and that’s how she gets her name. Given the current times because of COVID, the daycare is closed and this has forced her to do things that she has always wanted to, but never had the time for. She has taken to knitting and enjoying it. With a naughty laugh she says these are testing times, because suddenly she and her husband have to spend so much time together, but they incorporate humor and routine in their everyday life to get them through. They were always connected but now they are playing games and cooking together. They both know that they have each other’s back and will get through these times together.

Marcus

This is Marcus. When I ask him how Covid has affected him, he has a big smile on his face. He says he has gotten to know his kids better, like never before. He has his bad days, but tries to keep a positive attitude. After a gun shot wound injury that nearly took his life many years ago, this is his second chance at life and he tries to leave negativity behind by keeping himself busy.

Sinseer

This is Sinseer. He got his name from his mothers favorite movie character and he totally believes in the concept of doing everything with sincerity. He loves cars and works with them when not at his daytime job. When I ask him how Covid has affected him, he says that it’s actually been very good for his business. He is taking in work that others have been refusing. It is the first time he is saving money because he is not going out to socialize and also realizing how much he otherwise spends on things that are wants and not needs. He is otherwise a homebody and doesn’t otherwise miss socializing much. He is spending a lot of time with family, who sometimes get on his nerves, but they are family and always there for him.

Bob

This is Bob ! He says that COVID has made him go towards primitive living. It has forced him in a way to go take that walk in nature which is something he would not likely have done before. And with it, it has brought him peace. He is grateful for things that were so easily available before, like going to the gym, restaurants, etc. He now has come to realize the difference between want and need. He lost his job right when COVID started and during this break has been on a self growth journey and while on that journey he says he has been able to help other people through their pain. And he adds what if he could do that for a bigger audience. He says life is an open canvas for him now and he will choose to paint it how he envisions moving forward!!!

Dottie

This is Dottie. She has been working from home since COVID-19 started. She misses social connection with her colleagues and feels isolated at times but most of the times she is ok. She in fact she realizes that she is just fine spending time alone with her books, cooking and boyfriend. In fact she feels like even if things go back to normal she would be ok with working from home. She does worry about judgement a lot these days. She feels like people are judging every action in terms of how you react to them in proximity. She sometimes doesn’t know even with people she is close to how she should be. She has a niece who is going to be coming from California to visit (who also has been quarantined at home) and is worried what people will think and say about it. This time has nonetheless given her the opportunity to reconnect with many of her distant relatives and she is very grateful for that and it’s been fun she says. In fact she says that even after this is over she will continue to keep up with those connections. One of her most fun birthdays happened over zoom which she had least imagined but loved it. It’s a weird time in the world.

Vices

He is currently struggling with his vices. When I ask him what gives him joy, it’s his vices he says. We dive into a deeper conversation and he comes to realize that the vices are just suppressing the pain from his emotions. It’s a difficult question for him to answer what gives him joy then. He remembers then that his daughter was his true joy who was taken away from him many years ago when his Ex left him. He does not have any paternity rights. The incident left him heartbroken. The memory of his daughter being scared of him the last day that they were together because his reaction to the news of his ex leaving hasn’t left him. That’s not how he would have wanted her to remember him. Normally the last day should have been spent making good memories. When I ask him about getting help for his vices, he says that one has to do it for themselves and nobody else and also that one has to be ready for it. He is not ready yet.  I realized he was wise and a good soul despite his vices. As a physician in my earlier years of practicing I had a bias towards people who did drugs. I spoke to a nurse whom I immensely respected who mentioned to me that as a teen she was into drugs and then completely turned her life around. Somehow that day my biases started dissolving and I realized that they weren’t really bad people just caught up in circumstances of life and needed support, love and understanding. I hope we all can maybe give them a ear and a leaning hand when we come across their paths, so that maybe they can start their journeys towards hope and healing. 

Break it down!!! To the smallest step you can think of!!!

You’ve been wanting to start that project but never get to it !!! Overwhelm/ procrastinate is all you do. You’re fearful of the outcome !!! You’re stuck and it’s killing you !!! How do you outwit your fear ??? You take really, reallllllly small steps towards the project !!! Such small steps that the part of the brain that triggers the fear doesn’t even get to know !!! Say you want to write a book ….your small step could just be going and sitting at the desk for 5 minutes where you want to write …and after that if you intuition guides you to do something else you do that ….you’re creating a momentum towards your project ….!!! Small steps is a big part of my creative practice and it’s how I get my things done !!! 

It doesn’t matter when we start. It does matter that what we do!!!

I’ve had resistance towards painting as I felt like I couldn’t and was worried about not being able to. I used to paint a lot as a kid but somehow that has gotten lost. But I finally gathered up some courage and gave it a try. I made something crappy but was happy that I did. I had my moments of not liking what I painted but remember just moving the paint around. I’m trusting that in time with practice and experimentation I’ll get better. As long as I am enjoying the process it’s serving it’s purpose and that’s all that matters.
What have you been wanting to start but have been having resistance towards?

A

This is A. He worked for the underground utility department in Colorado which included checking the water supplies underground in the locality. Work didn't change much for him with the virus, which was good for him as he did not have to worry about money. He was worried immensely about his family, as he did not know when something would happen. He says it is like waiting for the other shoe to fall off. He is otherwise content and appreciates the everyday little things.

R

This is R. She lost employment during the pandemic. Sitting outside and eating is something she did often during those times, as she didn't have much to do. She mentions she would have rather worked. She struggled with depression due to unemployment and didn't know how she would make rent or maybe even support her kids who are growing boys.The pandemic did give her time to spend more quality time with her family, which she says was a good thing. Prior to COVID, life was just about going to work, cooking and taking care…

DO YOU SPEND A LOT OF ENERGY DECIDING ON WHAT PATH TO TAKE ???

Have you ever spent hours and hours of time trying to make a decision? I for sure have and I'm pretty much sure that most of us have. The fear of not knowing what may happen, the fear of not having made the right decision, the fear of failure, the fear of what if the decision that we did not take is the right and better decision keeps us in this state of limbo and chaos. Have you ever noted how your energy is when you are in this state of inaction ? For me, I am drained, drained of time and energy. I spend hours asking people what they would do, googling, etc.  I forget to see that what may be right for others may not be for me. There are really no wrong decisions. Even after you did decide to go on a certain path, and after a bit realize that it wasn't for you, you can now work your way forward accordingly. There is nothing in the rules that says that you cannot change your decision once you have made it. Either ways you are still moving forward, whether you decided to stay on the path you took initially, or change to another one in the event that the one prior wasn't for you. I am not saying that you should take a decision without doing your groundwork, but give yourself a deadline and go with it. 

I would love for you to share some of your experiences about the same.